Its 9.30 am. I am still at home sbb takde appointment pagi ni. Duduk mengadap balkoni and its raining. Aduiii cuaca yang membuatkan best gila kalau boleh tidur. But noooooo....tak boleh. Goal nak kena kejar this mth. Past two months sale tak cantik lansung.
I have just turned 41 last friday. Alhamdulillah. Allah panjangkan usia aku setakat hari ni. And this year birthday was totally different. Last year aku menangis at the stroke of midnite for some stupid reason. This year I cried still but my tears were for everything that Allah gave me. Be it rezeki, nikmat, ujian, kesemuanyalah. I thank Allah for bringing me closer to my parents, my kids and my friends. I thank Allah for my babe who is always 2 steps behind me. I thank Allah for giving me the strength to be on my own, to pursue my dreams. I maybe alone striving, but I know Allah will always, always be with me.
Enough rambling..time to work.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Dijentik Halus
Past few days, entah kenapa hati ni rasa tak tenang sangat. I dont know why and can't seem to put my finger on anything. I try to relax, try not to think about it but I still can't put my mind at rest.
Good thing the kids are with me this week. That takes my mind off the problem a bit. Aku solat and istighfar but itu pun tak membuatkan aku tenang. Then after one solat maghrib, aku baca Yassin, berserah pada Allah and prayed hard for Him to give me a bit of tranquility. After that, barulah hati ni lega walau tak sepenuhnya.
I have to admit, part of the reason yang aku jadi bengong sekejap ni is because of the mess I was in ( of which i wrote earlier in my blog). But most of all, aku tahu jugak ketidaktenangan hati ni merupakan ujian dari Allah.
Ada perkara yang membuatkan aku leka dan lalai. Allah jentik sikit secara halus to remind me not stray away from being a good muslimah. I realized that now. Tenangnya hati ialah satu nikmat dari Allah yang tak terhingga. When he took that away from me, apa pun yang aku buat semua tak betul.
Rasulullah bersabda, “TIDAK SUATUPUN YANG MENIMPA SEORANG MUKMIN, BAIK BERUPA KEPAYAHAN, SAKIT, SEDIH, SUSAH DAN PERASAAN MURUNG, BAHKAN DURI YANG MENGENAI DIRINYA, KECUALI ALLAH AKAN MELEBUR KESALAHAN-KESALAHANNYA LANTARAN KESUSAHAN-KESUSAHAN TERSEBUT.” (HR Bukhari dan Muslim)
No...I am not trying to be an ustazah but I am just reminding myself. Amat rugi kalau kita ni diberi peringataan tapi kita masih tak sedar.
Good thing the kids are with me this week. That takes my mind off the problem a bit. Aku solat and istighfar but itu pun tak membuatkan aku tenang. Then after one solat maghrib, aku baca Yassin, berserah pada Allah and prayed hard for Him to give me a bit of tranquility. After that, barulah hati ni lega walau tak sepenuhnya.
I have to admit, part of the reason yang aku jadi bengong sekejap ni is because of the mess I was in ( of which i wrote earlier in my blog). But most of all, aku tahu jugak ketidaktenangan hati ni merupakan ujian dari Allah.
Ada perkara yang membuatkan aku leka dan lalai. Allah jentik sikit secara halus to remind me not stray away from being a good muslimah. I realized that now. Tenangnya hati ialah satu nikmat dari Allah yang tak terhingga. When he took that away from me, apa pun yang aku buat semua tak betul.
Rasulullah bersabda, “TIDAK SUATUPUN YANG MENIMPA SEORANG MUKMIN, BAIK BERUPA KEPAYAHAN, SAKIT, SEDIH, SUSAH DAN PERASAAN MURUNG, BAHKAN DURI YANG MENGENAI DIRINYA, KECUALI ALLAH AKAN MELEBUR KESALAHAN-KESALAHANNYA LANTARAN KESUSAHAN-KESUSAHAN TERSEBUT.” (HR Bukhari dan Muslim)
No...I am not trying to be an ustazah but I am just reminding myself. Amat rugi kalau kita ni diberi peringataan tapi kita masih tak sedar.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
That one tiny problem.
Its hard to describe the feelings that I am experiencing right now. Sedih, marah, ignorance, dont care..all jumble up in one space. Ada perkara yang tak dapat dielakkan happened and I know I am the guilty party. Yes, I am guilty of my outburst, but I am not guilty of the incidents which entailed to the outburst.
Every now and then I have tried to accommodate and tolerate other people. And fair enough I receive the same treatment from other people as well. I appreciate that and always, always try to remember not to repeat the same mistake. But in any human relationship, tak kira la frienship ke, love relationship ke or even parents-children relationship, both parties have to meet halfway through. Then only it becomes a win-win situation.
We fight, we argue and we learn something from it. We discover the likeable traits of the other party and the not-so-likeable too. Then after that, we adjust accordingly so that both parties can be happy and satisfied.
But in order to achieve to that peak, one cannot lose oneself. At least that is what I think. I am a person with brain, and with that I think. I may have my own opinion which might be different from other people. I may stand by it, or i may change that opinion. I may suppress some opinion in order not to offend my listener.
And pasal differences in opinion ni lah, the volcano erupted. I know it was wrong of me and wish that I can undo that. But it happened. I deeply regretted what I did. I was not trying to show that I am better or hard-headed. I was just angry that I can't have my say. I was angry sebab, its just an impartial views from me. I was not even opposing to anything. But I was not being heard. The whole picture painted seems to focus on my outburst, my lack of patience, my hard headed attitude.
I have done whatever i could to convince my beloved friend how sorry I was. But if that last picture was the one that my friend wants to remember of me, then I don't know what else to say.
My keeping silence is not an act of defiance. I am not trying to prove anything either. I am just limiting the risk of further arguments and heart aches, that's all.
Every now and then I have tried to accommodate and tolerate other people. And fair enough I receive the same treatment from other people as well. I appreciate that and always, always try to remember not to repeat the same mistake. But in any human relationship, tak kira la frienship ke, love relationship ke or even parents-children relationship, both parties have to meet halfway through. Then only it becomes a win-win situation.
We fight, we argue and we learn something from it. We discover the likeable traits of the other party and the not-so-likeable too. Then after that, we adjust accordingly so that both parties can be happy and satisfied.
But in order to achieve to that peak, one cannot lose oneself. At least that is what I think. I am a person with brain, and with that I think. I may have my own opinion which might be different from other people. I may stand by it, or i may change that opinion. I may suppress some opinion in order not to offend my listener.
And pasal differences in opinion ni lah, the volcano erupted. I know it was wrong of me and wish that I can undo that. But it happened. I deeply regretted what I did. I was not trying to show that I am better or hard-headed. I was just angry that I can't have my say. I was angry sebab, its just an impartial views from me. I was not even opposing to anything. But I was not being heard. The whole picture painted seems to focus on my outburst, my lack of patience, my hard headed attitude.
I have done whatever i could to convince my beloved friend how sorry I was. But if that last picture was the one that my friend wants to remember of me, then I don't know what else to say.
My keeping silence is not an act of defiance. I am not trying to prove anything either. I am just limiting the risk of further arguments and heart aches, that's all.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Goal board (part 2)
TARRAAAAAAA!!!!! inilah hasilnye. My goal board for 2012. Okayla tu walau tak secanggih goal board orang lain. Yang paling penting, it vibrates me everytime I look it. Simple and senang nak ingat with all the pictures.
A motivator once said that people are a picture person. For example, when we say think of an elephant. What will be the thing that sprung to the mind..gambar gajah or the word gajah? Mesti gambar kan. So, that is why goal board banyak pictures rather than words. Pictures after all tell a thousand words. Chewah!
Yesterday, at QR winner agency, we had our first Goal Setting Seminar. Maybe tak sevibrate or sehebat the Goal Seminar I attended last year at Cyberview Lodge under Elly's agency, but it served its purpose. Simple but meaningful. It was attended by all of us under Rohani's team. We are small but one day we will grow. I am determine to leverage on QR winner agency and grow my own group. Biarpun aku susah sekarang, I will emerge the best finally. I want to be like my upline Rohani Abd Aziz.
This is my friend dari zaman A Level, Aminvestment Bank and now my Mentor and upline, my Group Agency Manager, the owner of QR Winner Agency - Rohani Abd Aziz.
My kids are not with me this week. Miss them so much. But I have the long weekend next week with them. Hmmmm mana nak gi ek? Pangkor maybe...hehehheheh. "wink" "wink".
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Goal board (part 1).
Its sunday nite and my kids have gone back to their house since noon. So duduklah sorang2 kat rumah doing some stuff here and there. This week, masa dgn Adam and Nureen tak lama sebab they both have started tuition on saturdays and sundays. Kids nowadays..kesian betul dgn academic pressure. If tak hantar tuition takut they dont catch up with the syllabus.
Now, sambil tengok TV, I am setting my goals for 2012. I need to come up with a goal board. Seseungguhnya, aku ni bukan la seorang yang creative. Nak kena google internet to get some ideas. Padahal eversince becoming unit trust agent, every year kena buat goal board.
Dulu, I had a book which I bought masa memula join Public Mutual. I like the wordings on the book cover.
My first entry was written on 18th July 2008. I was still with AmInvestment Bank masa tu. Tampal gambar la, wrote motivational quotes etc..etc. Most importantly, I wrote my goals right from tahun 2009 sampai 2010. Some of it I achieved, most of them, not just yet.
2011 - tak tulis apa-apa sebab banyak sangat tragedi menangis.
So for 2012, nak kena buat balik. Actually, its a good feeling when you achieved the goals that you wrote years ago. Masa tulis dulu, cam percaya tak percaya jek you boleh achieve. But when u actually did, memanglah rasa best.
What the mind can concieve, the mind can achieve - Napoleon Bonaparte (i think)
I haven't done anything much with the goal board. Adalah gunting sikit-sikit some wordings to paste nanti.
Well now ni, perut sangat lapar. Masterchef is on air, membuat aku makin lapar. I am penning off. Will update on the outcome of my goal board.
Now, sambil tengok TV, I am setting my goals for 2012. I need to come up with a goal board. Seseungguhnya, aku ni bukan la seorang yang creative. Nak kena google internet to get some ideas. Padahal eversince becoming unit trust agent, every year kena buat goal board.
Dulu, I had a book which I bought masa memula join Public Mutual. I like the wordings on the book cover.
My first entry was written on 18th July 2008. I was still with AmInvestment Bank masa tu. Tampal gambar la, wrote motivational quotes etc..etc. Most importantly, I wrote my goals right from tahun 2009 sampai 2010. Some of it I achieved, most of them, not just yet.
2011 - tak tulis apa-apa sebab banyak sangat tragedi menangis.
So for 2012, nak kena buat balik. Actually, its a good feeling when you achieved the goals that you wrote years ago. Masa tulis dulu, cam percaya tak percaya jek you boleh achieve. But when u actually did, memanglah rasa best.
What the mind can concieve, the mind can achieve - Napoleon Bonaparte (i think)
I haven't done anything much with the goal board. Adalah gunting sikit-sikit some wordings to paste nanti.
Well now ni, perut sangat lapar. Masterchef is on air, membuat aku makin lapar. I am penning off. Will update on the outcome of my goal board.
Monday, January 2, 2012
First weekend in 2012.
Its the first weekend in 2012.
Saturday the 31st december.
After sending my maid to her aunt's house ( its her weekend off), I drove to Amcorp Mall PJ. I didn't know where to go but since kat situ ada flea market so aku pegi je la.
Adam wants to start collecting stamps and I know there is a shop at Amcorp which sells used, old stamps. Later, jalan-jalan kat kedai buku, browsed some books. Ingat nak beli buku but I still have a few yang tak habis baca lagi so biar dulu la. Passed by a DVD shop, and bought a horror movie. Cerita hantu-lompat-cina which I watched years ago when I was still schooling. 8 movies in one DVD. All three of us had fun watching the movies. Comedy and horror in one go.
Malam tahun baru, we all just tidur infront of the tv, oblivious of the big hoopla people have around the world celebrating the coming of a new year.
Jan 1st, 2012 - Sunday.
The weather was good and pleasant. After breakfast, I decided to go to FRIM (forest research institute of malaysia). Thought that i would introduce my kids to the nature this time. Kalau tidak asik gi shopping mall je. Ye laaa, mana lagi nak gi kat KL ni.
Ingat nak try the canopy walkaway but it was closed. They didn't say this in their website pun.
So instead,we drove right up to the picnic area at a river called Sungai Kroh. I didn't plan for this thus we didn't have any extra clothing whatsoever. We folded our jeans and thought that we could just dip in the cold water a bit. Or actually itulah my instruction.
But after a while...they are soaked right up to the neck. I let them be. Kalau dulu, susahlah aku nak allow such thing. But now, I am a bit more relax on the rules. Biarla they have fun. Apa sangat la basah sikit tu. Itu pun Adam asked me over and over again, "betul ke ni Mama..boleh rendam badan sekali?" I said yes, with a smile. And they did have fun.
I was just content with having my feet in the cold water.
After 2 hours, its time to go. Adam and nureen siap offer to jemur themselves kat kawasan panas to dry up. I said tak yah la. I have telekung in my car to cover them up sekejap until we reached home. Bukannye jauh pun. How thoughtful my kids were. I promised them, I will bring them again there for a real picnic.
After the wet section, thought of visiting other so-called attractions at FRIM but sadly semua pun tutup. Sungguh tak visitor-friendly.
The rest of the day and the day after was spent lazing around at home. Continued with the chinese horror movie, munching on junk food, playing games, tidur depan tv etc.
Another week is here, the kids are going back to school, and I have to work again as usual.
Saturday the 31st december.
After sending my maid to her aunt's house ( its her weekend off), I drove to Amcorp Mall PJ. I didn't know where to go but since kat situ ada flea market so aku pegi je la.
Adam wants to start collecting stamps and I know there is a shop at Amcorp which sells used, old stamps. Later, jalan-jalan kat kedai buku, browsed some books. Ingat nak beli buku but I still have a few yang tak habis baca lagi so biar dulu la. Passed by a DVD shop, and bought a horror movie. Cerita hantu-lompat-cina which I watched years ago when I was still schooling. 8 movies in one DVD. All three of us had fun watching the movies. Comedy and horror in one go.
Malam tahun baru, we all just tidur infront of the tv, oblivious of the big hoopla people have around the world celebrating the coming of a new year.
Jan 1st, 2012 - Sunday.
The weather was good and pleasant. After breakfast, I decided to go to FRIM (forest research institute of malaysia). Thought that i would introduce my kids to the nature this time. Kalau tidak asik gi shopping mall je. Ye laaa, mana lagi nak gi kat KL ni.
Ingat nak try the canopy walkaway but it was closed. They didn't say this in their website pun.
So instead,we drove right up to the picnic area at a river called Sungai Kroh. I didn't plan for this thus we didn't have any extra clothing whatsoever. We folded our jeans and thought that we could just dip in the cold water a bit. Or actually itulah my instruction.
But after a while...they are soaked right up to the neck. I let them be. Kalau dulu, susahlah aku nak allow such thing. But now, I am a bit more relax on the rules. Biarla they have fun. Apa sangat la basah sikit tu. Itu pun Adam asked me over and over again, "betul ke ni Mama..boleh rendam badan sekali?" I said yes, with a smile. And they did have fun.
I was just content with having my feet in the cold water.
After 2 hours, its time to go. Adam and nureen siap offer to jemur themselves kat kawasan panas to dry up. I said tak yah la. I have telekung in my car to cover them up sekejap until we reached home. Bukannye jauh pun. How thoughtful my kids were. I promised them, I will bring them again there for a real picnic.
After the wet section, thought of visiting other so-called attractions at FRIM but sadly semua pun tutup. Sungguh tak visitor-friendly.
The rest of the day and the day after was spent lazing around at home. Continued with the chinese horror movie, munching on junk food, playing games, tidur depan tv etc.
Another week is here, the kids are going back to school, and I have to work again as usual.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Its all in a day's work.
Ramai orang ingat my job as a unit trust consultant (UTC) ni senang. Firstly I have a lot of free time in my hand. Yes its true being a freelance agent I can determine when I nak kerja. Agak-agak malas or takde mood I can always say I tak nak keje la hari ni. Like today, after satu appointment in the morning, akibat takde appt lain, I went for my facial. Or at times bila ada emergency you tak payah bersusah payah mintak cuti or mintak someone relief your work.
But u can't afford to do that all the time right? Tak kerja, takde sale, takde la commission. So kena la jugak bangun pagi, drive to meet client. Actually lagi penat sebab, the appointments bukan semua at one place. You have to drive,park the car, jalan to the client's office or wherever we decide to meet. Itu tak kira nak go through the traffic jam or kalau sesat masa carik client's office. Kalau takde appointment paksa la jugak diri drive to office. Sekurang-kurangnya, tengok orang lain kerja u will start to do something as well like make phone calls.
Honestly, most of the time kalau takde appointment, my mind tak boleh rest. It will be racing to figure out where to get clients. Cam tadi, thought that I can relax masa facial tapi still in my mind I dok terfikir pasal sale. The chinese lady yang massage my face tu, mesti boleh tgk the frown on my forehead.
Second myth about being a UTC is that, once dah dapat investment from the client, my job is done. But that is not the case because u have the responsibility to maximise your client's investment. U must make sure u invest in the right fund, update them as and when accordingly. Make sure u have the knowledge. Pendek citer service them well. Then only they will trust u and refer u to another friend. This servicing ni may take time, 3 to 5 years sebab unit trust is a medium to long term. Unless u have tried buat semua tu, tapi client u still hampeh, tak nak communicate, tak nak dengar advise, then u can rest your case.
Third thing is, orang ingat UTC ni banyak duit or kerja yang senang dapat duit. The truth is you have to work hard. Takde jalan mudah nak jadik kaya beb. Tanya la mana-mana UTC yang dah berjaya. They started with zero base but with hardwork they are where they are now. Unless la kalau u anak somebody then u have high net client. Then senang la kot dapat ikan jerung. But kalau dah anak somebody, takkan pulak nak kerja UTC ek. Baiklah bukak bisnes sendiri or jaga bisnes parents...kan?
And with this wrong perceptionlah ada jugak client yang mintak commission agent. Please laaaa. As UTC, we only have our commission to live on. We don't have medical benefit, socso or perkeso, employer's epf contribution etc. Nanti bila dah dapat profit from the investment, client will get 12 to 15% per annum. Banyak tak as compared to 2% commission yang kita orang dapat.?
But with all said above I still love my work. As much as I love my work at the bank before. Both have different challenges and excitement. Being a UTC, I gain more confidence, I am more independent, I discover my other strengths in me and so many more.
So for those people yang nak jadi unit trust agent, please have the right set of mind. Its not all-bed-of-roses job. But with all the positive attitudes, trust me, u can live a life that u dream of. Goyang kaki and lots of money......after maybe 5 to 6 years. InsyaAllah.
But u can't afford to do that all the time right? Tak kerja, takde sale, takde la commission. So kena la jugak bangun pagi, drive to meet client. Actually lagi penat sebab, the appointments bukan semua at one place. You have to drive,park the car, jalan to the client's office or wherever we decide to meet. Itu tak kira nak go through the traffic jam or kalau sesat masa carik client's office. Kalau takde appointment paksa la jugak diri drive to office. Sekurang-kurangnya, tengok orang lain kerja u will start to do something as well like make phone calls.
Honestly, most of the time kalau takde appointment, my mind tak boleh rest. It will be racing to figure out where to get clients. Cam tadi, thought that I can relax masa facial tapi still in my mind I dok terfikir pasal sale. The chinese lady yang massage my face tu, mesti boleh tgk the frown on my forehead.
Second myth about being a UTC is that, once dah dapat investment from the client, my job is done. But that is not the case because u have the responsibility to maximise your client's investment. U must make sure u invest in the right fund, update them as and when accordingly. Make sure u have the knowledge. Pendek citer service them well. Then only they will trust u and refer u to another friend. This servicing ni may take time, 3 to 5 years sebab unit trust is a medium to long term. Unless u have tried buat semua tu, tapi client u still hampeh, tak nak communicate, tak nak dengar advise, then u can rest your case.
Third thing is, orang ingat UTC ni banyak duit or kerja yang senang dapat duit. The truth is you have to work hard. Takde jalan mudah nak jadik kaya beb. Tanya la mana-mana UTC yang dah berjaya. They started with zero base but with hardwork they are where they are now. Unless la kalau u anak somebody then u have high net client. Then senang la kot dapat ikan jerung. But kalau dah anak somebody, takkan pulak nak kerja UTC ek. Baiklah bukak bisnes sendiri or jaga bisnes parents...kan?
And with this wrong perceptionlah ada jugak client yang mintak commission agent. Please laaaa. As UTC, we only have our commission to live on. We don't have medical benefit, socso or perkeso, employer's epf contribution etc. Nanti bila dah dapat profit from the investment, client will get 12 to 15% per annum. Banyak tak as compared to 2% commission yang kita orang dapat.?
But with all said above I still love my work. As much as I love my work at the bank before. Both have different challenges and excitement. Being a UTC, I gain more confidence, I am more independent, I discover my other strengths in me and so many more.
So for those people yang nak jadi unit trust agent, please have the right set of mind. Its not all-bed-of-roses job. But with all the positive attitudes, trust me, u can live a life that u dream of. Goyang kaki and lots of money......after maybe 5 to 6 years. InsyaAllah.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)